Demon Tales
by Flame Within Ice
Summary: Basically, a random play-form story I wrote in school one day, and before I knew it the thing covered multiple pages...slightly satirical of Kuroshitsuji.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so here's the completely random Black Butler fanfiction I wrote during school. I was bored, so I started writing in a sort-of play format. It will probably cross through a few random books, movies, etc., as Sebastian and Co. make their way through the amazing world of crossovers. Oh, and I totally gave Sebastian a true name from Discworld. To fully get that joke, go read The Color of Magic. Oh, and I shortened Sebastian and Rincewind to SBTN and RCWD. Also, Sister Nooooo is a character my brother made up. Anyway, I'm done with my little author notes thingy. If you have any questions or suggestions, you know where to place them (psst-it's the review section!).**

**First, a theme song! Totally Dragon Tales lyrics!**

_Demon tales, demon tales,  
>Let's all go to demon world...<em>

* * *

><p><em>*Sebby pops out of nowhere*<em>

SBTN: "Ack, where am I? Where's the young master?"

_*Ciel poofs in*_

CIEL: "Oh, good. Where are we, then?"

DISEMBODIED NARRATOR VOICE: "Here Be Dragons. They may not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right!"

SBTN: "Crap not this place again."

CIEL: "What do you mean _again_?"

SBTN: "Juuust wait..."

DNV: **(For those of you who don't know, this is the Ankh-Morpork national anthem. Look it up)**"MORPOOORKIA! MORPOOORKIA!"

CIEL: "AAH make it stop!"

DNV: "We can rule you wholesale, credit where it's DUUUUEEEE!"

SBTN: "I dread to say it, but we are in...Ankh-Morpork *dun dun dunn*"

CIEL: "What's with the *dun dun dunn*?"

SBTN: "Dramatic effect."

CIEL: "Yes, but why did you feel the need for dramatic effect?"

SBTN: "Because. Now drop the subject or I shall be forced to fawn over you."

CIEL: "Because is not an answer!"

SBTN: "I have hot soup and i'm not afraid to use it!"

CIEL: "Answer me!"

SBTN: "Say 'aaah'"

CIEL: "AAAAAH!" *screams and runs*

SBTN: "Now who's being dramatic?"

CIEL: *distantly* "Nobody! You're just a creeper!"

SBTN: "No, that would be Grelle."

_*Grelle appears*_

GRELLE: "Bassy!"

SBTN: "Aaargh!"

GRELLE: *attempts hug*

SBTN: *dodges*

DNV: "And so, Grelle and Sebastian began an epic duel-"

SBTN and CIEL: "Shut up, disembodied narrator voice!"

GRELLE: "The what?"

CIEL: "The disembodied narrator voice. It's disembodied, a narrator, and a voice."

SBTN: "*dun dun dunn*"

CIEL: "Shut up."

VOICE: "Noooo!"

CIEL: "Aaah what was that? Is someone there?"

VOICE: "Noooo!"

_*Rincewind comes walking up*_

RCWD: "Shut up, Sister Noooo."

SISTER NOOOO: "Nooooo!"

RCWD: "Will you shut up?"

SISTER NOOOO: "Noooooo!"

RCWD: "Someone please shut her up!"

SISTER NOOOO: "Nooo-*is hit by random chair*"

RCWD: "Ooh, that chair must have hurt..."

CIEL: "Who are you?"

RCWD: "Rincewind. I'm a wizard-sort of."

SBTN: "Well, that's nice, we'll just be on our way, don't mind us..." *tries to sneak away*

RCWD: "Here now, I've heard your voice before!"

SBTN: "No, no, you haven't!"

RCWD: "Well, it wasn't really a voice, more of a deep growl..."

SBTN: "I can assure you, we've never met!"

RCWD: "It was on the same pitch, at any rate..."

SBTN: "Ha ha, funny, bye now!" *tries to shoo everyone away, including an unconscious Sister Nooo, which doesn't really work*

RCWD: "What's your favorite color?"

SBTN: *automatically* "Black."

RCWD: "Fav...animal?"

SBTN: "Kitties!"

RCWD: "Food?"

SBTN: "Soul-um, I mean, souffles."

RCWD: "Number?"

SBTN: "Ei-nine."

RCWD: "Were you going to say that which is four times two?"

SBTN: "No. Absolutely not."

RCWD: "You sure?"

SBTN: "Yes. Nine. Definitely."

RCWD: "Ya positive?"

SBTN: *nods head vigorously*

GRELLE: "Bassy, fix me with your demonic gaze!"

SBTN: *punches Grelle* "Shut up."

RCWD: "Demonic gaze?"

SBTN: "Crap."

**Well, that's it for chappie 1. Tell me how you like it so far.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Bwahahaa! The madness returns! In this chapter: eh, never mind, you'll find out shortly.**

RCWD: "You are one of the accursèd?"

SBTN: "What's with the fancy èd?"

RCWD: "Dramatic effect. So, are you?"

SBTN: "Ummmm…maybe?"

RCWD: "What do you mean, maybe? Who are you?"

SBTN: "Akuma de shitsuji desu?"

RCWD: "Interesting name."

SBTN: "Er, no, I'm…no wait, I want you to guess."

RCWD: *squeals like a little girl* "Oooh, I love this game!"

SBTN: "Right. What is that which tolls?"

RCWD: "A bell."

SBTN: "Correct. A foolish, see-through trick?"

RCWD: "A sham!"

SBTN: "Indeed. A laugh?"

RCWD: "Ha!"

CIEL: "I don't see what's so funny here…"

SBTN: "Now string it all together and add 'roth' on the end!"

RCWD: "Bel-shamharo—oooh snap…"

SBTN: "*dun dun dunn!*"

RCWD: *takes off hat and holds it in front of him like a shield* "Stay back, foul beast! Back, back!"

SBTN: "Hello again to you, too…"

RCWD: *gulps* "We're doomed."

CIEL: "What the heck is going on?"

GRELLE: *eyes shining* "Oh, Bassy! I'll call you Bels now!"

SBTN: *holds up random chair threateningly*

GRELLE: *whimpers* "Don't ruin my hair!"

CIEL: "Idiot."

SBTN: "Ignoring what I am, please lead us into Ankh-Morpork."

RCWD: "Er, you might want a buddy for that, we have to pass through the Shades, foul beas—"

SBTN: *goes creeper-eyed* "Pardon?"

RCWD: "Aah—I mean, kind, merciful demon lord! I advise you all to choose a buddy! Please don't eat me!"

GRELLE: *glomps Sebastian* "Buddy!"

SBTN: "Ack, shoo, idiotic shinigami."

GRELLE: "The Shades! It sounds like a scary movie! Ciely-wiely, did you bring popcorn?"

CIEL: "What are you talking about?"

RCWD: "Follow me. Erm, foul beas—kind-merciful-demon-lord, if you see any creepers stalking you, feel free to, um, dispose of them."

SBTN: *evil chuckle* "Butter knives of doom!"

CIEL: "Sebastian, don't—"

SBTN: "DOOOOM! DOOOOOM! *dun dun dunnnn!*"

CIEL: "Great, were three exclamation points really necessary?"

SBTN: "Absolutely."

CIEL: "Why, Sebastian?"

SBTN: "Because."

CIEL: "Don't make me beat you up with my walking stick."

SBTN: *skeptical* "I'm…not…going to say anything about your chances in that department."

GRELLE: "Oooh! Can I beat him up with your walking stick? Please, please, pleeeease?"

SBTN: *shocked* "I thought you loved me!"

GRELLE: "Nah, I'm just your Stalker With A Crush."

**And thus ends the randomness (for now). Please and thank you to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The madness is back with a vengeance!**

RCWD: "Anyone care to go to Ankh-Morpork?"

SISTER NOO: "Noooo..."

RCWD: "Oh no, she's coming around again..."

SBTN: *hits Sister Noo with random chair*

SISTER NOO: *goes unconscious*

CIEL: "You might end up giving her brain damage, Sebastian."

SBTN: "I'm just killing her brain cells."

CIEL: "They don't grow back."

SBTN: "Interesting. How else do you expect me to knock her out?"

CIEL: "I don't know. Pressure points or something."

SBTN: *hopefully* "With butter knives of doom *dun dun dunn*?"

CIEL: "No! That would kill her!"

SBTN: "You never know. I might miss."

CIEL: "You. Miss."

SBTN: "It's possible."

CIEL: "You. Miss. A. Stationary. Object."

SBTN: "Yes."

CIEL: *keels over laughing*

SBTN: "My, my, it appears the young master is having some sort of asthma attack. Grelle, find a different buddy."

GRELLE: *seizes Sister Noo* "Buddy!"

RCWD: "Now _I _don't have a buddy!"

SBTN: "Pluto!"

*Pluto the demonhound pops out of Limbo*

PLUTO: "Woof!" *glomps Sebastian*

SBTN: *pushes Pluto at Rincewind* "Here. Have a buddy."

PLUTO: "Arf, arf! (yay, buddy)"

RCWD: "I don't think he'll get along with the Luggage."

LUGGAGE: "Growl. (watch it, fuzzball)"

PLUTO: "Woof! (I is watching...what?)"

SBTN: "They're both homicidal. They should get on fine."

PLUTO: "Woof-woof! (and I breathe fire!)"

RCWD: "Ummm..."

*buzzing noise*

SBTN: "Cut the death scythe, Grelle."

GRELLE: *pouty face*

RCWD: "Should we go to Ankh-Morpork, then?"

CIEL: "Eventually. The two creepers are Grelle and Sebastian. It might take them a while to come around to relative insanity."

RCWD: "Err..."

CIEL: "Just lead the way."

DNV: "And so, the odd couplets made their way towards-"

*entire company glares at sky*

DNV: "What's the fun in being a disembodied narrator voice if you can't narrate anything?"

CIEL: "Please, weird...voice thing, just don't sing that song ever, ever again."

DNV: "Meh."

RCWD: "And on our left, you can see the River Ankh. If you keep up a brisk pace, you can go for a stroll on it without sinking."

SBTN: *hears noise* "Hm."

RCWD: "Ack...Ah, Sebastian, was it?...er..."

CIEL: "Oh, I see. The young fellow in black stalking us?"

RCWD: "Um...yeah, about that."

CIEL: "Is he dangerous?"

RCWD: "Eh? Oh yes, highly."

CIEL: *nods* "Carry on, Sebastian."

SBTN: "Whoo! Butter knives of doom time! *DUN DUN DUNNN!*" *uses silverware as highly lethal weapon*

CIEL: "Should we clean that up?"

RCWD: "Nah. Happens all the time."

CIEL: "Are you sure? With an arm, say, over _there_, and the _other _arm over _there_?"

RCWD: "Yep. All the time."

CIEL: "...your city has problems."


End file.
